♥ Saturday, December 30, 2006


1:08:00 AM Y


Post title :

♥ a CHOICE has been made. Let's juz LEAVE it to that

Gathering the team for dis upcoming PSP is reali putting a lot of pressure on all of us mann.. Ya we finally haf a team but seriouly, like wat Asri said, all of us are "OT"s.. HAHA!! We noe people don't noe.. But there are more serious matter in hand dat is stil waiting to be settled.. Haiz.. I tink im a bad person to start off wit.. I cant even be a supportive person.. I'm sorry guys esp Dear.. I reali want out of ****** mann.. Hmmmm... Der's juz too many outsiders trying to get their hands on the whole thing.. Haiz.. Why can't people juz undastand dat they are not needed?? It reali pisses me off becoz whenever i come down, my buttons are pushed over and over again.. I may be smiling but sumtimes i wish dat i can break someone's neck..! Der's juz a lot of pressure building up inside me.. Everytime dat matter comes up, i'll juz blow up.. I'm sorry Dear.. I noe u are feeling the same thign but i'm juz reali pissed.. If dis matter doesn't get settled soon, i'm gonna be out and dis time i'll stay out.. Der are other places i can go to.. If u so badly wanna be recognized even though u do nothing, den go ahead.. I'm not gonna waste my time standing der and be treated like an outcast! AAARRRGGHH!!!

Sayang, i'm sorry for wat i've said to u but seriously, u haf to see the extend of the damage dat can happen.. I dont want u to regret it in later years and realized dat der was something u cud haf done to make it better.. I love u.. I'm sorry again.. :((



I'll stay by ur side tru thick and thin sayang... Always..




♥ Friday, December 22, 2006


6:41:00 PM Y


Post title :

♥ a CHOICE has been made. Let's juz LEAVE it to that

Well, the interview is over and it's a big relief.. The stressful part was i saw that the 3 of the interviewers was Superintendents.. Hmmm.. Oh ya, by the way, one of the pesilat from Ngee Ann was there for the interview too.. Her name's aisha or isha if i'm not wrong.. Hahaha.. Great.. If we are all in the same intake, den at least got a member to share the woes of training life wit.. The questions were mostly personal i guess.. I mean, they focused more on wat's written on my resume and i tried to make dem see a bit of the real me.. Now i juz gotta wait and see wat the result wil be.. I'm a nervous wreck but i noe i gotta be positive and patient.. Thanks Dear.. :)

Tmrw is Dear's turn for his interview.. I wish u all the best.. I noe u can do it.. :)

Our promise is to share all thick and thin together and share all difficulties wit each other.. I guess dis time round we haf reali started to tink about the importance of a relationship and how much we shud appreciate each other.. Hope dat in the end things wil werk out well.. I hope he gets his dream job and and i get mine too..

Sunday i gotta go and catch my nephew's game but up til now i don't noe where it is or wat time it starts.. Haiyo.. Hancuz.... Gotta start preparing the guys for PSP but i'm stil not sure who's joining.. Hope dat wit all the chaos dat's going on, we can stil send a solid team.. At least try and bring back sumthin.. After so long.. Gotta start pushing our standards back up.. Haiz.. Insyallah... Til here. Chiaoz..




♥ Wednesday, December 20, 2006


1:43:00 AM Y


Post title :

♥ a CHOICE has been made. Let's juz LEAVE it to that

Im confused rite nw.. I mean, i am jealous but seriously, he's nt my husband nor my fiance.. DO i haf a rite to be jealous if sumone else lay her hands on him? Hmmm.. I may be smiling and admiting dat it's fine wit me but inside, its tearing me apart.. Haiz.. I haf to swallow becoz sooner or later, all of us are gonna be werking in the same place.. Hmmmm.. I'm juz scared dat i mite lose him once we start building our future.. Even though we'll be in the same place, der's stil the uncertainty dat's playing in my mind.. Shud i stay away so i won't get hurt? But i juz can't becoz he's a part of me.. Hmmmm... Wat shud i do?? I want him to be a part of my life.. Although he is, i'm always scared dat after giving everythin we've got for dis relationship, it wil go down the drain becoz we lost each other while chasing our dreams.. Hmmmm.. Is dis a part of my life dat i haf to decide whether we shud stay or shud we go?


I melt wenever ur eyes look at me

Ur smile brightens up my darken days

Hold my hand tight and never let me be

Wil you stil love me or wil ur feelings fade?




♥ Thursday, December 14, 2006


4:23:00 PM Y


Post title :

♥ a CHOICE has been made. Let's juz LEAVE it to that

Training yest was ok.. Dydy, Asri and Din was there too.. I guess training wit my toe all bruised up like dis makes no difference cauze it's sumtin i've gotten used to over the years.. Well, initially thot i was juz gonna hang ard and help out a bit at the side.. But end up i trained together wit the rest.. And i also got to spar which is a good ting becoz it's been a while.. Haiz.. So many tings coming up in 2007.. PSP, instructor grading.. Haiz.. Stressed mann.. And one ting i hate most is getting pressured to do sumthing dat i dont want.. Well, if u wanna piss me off, by all means go ahead.. But dont blame me for wat i'll do or wat i'm gonna do..




♥ Friday, December 08, 2006


1:17:00 AM Y


Post title : Tired..

♥ a CHOICE has been made. Let's juz LEAVE it to that

Well, lately, werk has been keepin me busy.. And thanks to Dear for being der everyday without fail.. Thanks.. But lately, sumthin has been bothering me so much dat i can't even shut my eyes at night without thinkin of a solution to it.. I mean, u guys drag me into the middle of wateva personal problems u guys had wit each other.. Initially, i thot it was juz matters concerning the kids and our perguruan.. I din even wanna get involved into ur personal issues wit each other.. Crap mann.. Now after u guys haf dragged me in so deep, u guys are tryin to put the blame on me instead?? Wateva it is, i am washing my hands totally off u guys.. I don't noe wat the outcome wil be but one things for sure, i'll do my best to make sure my guys at jurong green doesn't haf to be involved in ur personal war against each other..

I'm not tryin to make dem outdo the rest but they haf proven dat they haf wat it takes and dat is sumthin we all shud be proud of.. Healthy competiton is not comparing each other in a manner dat they wil take in negatively and thus affect the relationship they haf wit one another.. It's freaking easy.. Damn.. I don't get it.. I reali don't.. Hafiz, Taufiq and i had never faced dis kind of problem even though we started from scratch.. I made it clear to Cik Roslan about how i feel personally if dis keeps going on.. U guys wanna fight, argue or compare who's better, do it at ur own time and place.. I don't want my guys to be affected by dis nonsense dat u guys haf against each other.. I'm not on anybody's side becoz from wat i see, dis matter is between u guys and none of us noe wat's the real story.. Each of u has a different side of the story to tell, so we'll juz leave it to the seniors to talk it out and see wat they or all of us can do.. I'm willing to step aside and let anyone take over.. But if doin dis means i'm risking wateva potential we haf rite now, den i wil stil voice out my opinion whether anyone likes it or not..

It's unfair to judge me juz becoz i'm trying to give constructive remarks.. If i'm one-sided, den i'm much more happier wit u guys juz shutting up and settle the problem among urselves rather den goin at it and getting everyone involved or trying to get people on ur sides.. U made the mess, CLEAN IT UP!